12 Comments
Jul 3Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

Thank you for your in depth explanation of real trauma vs. imagined trauma. If seen on a line graph, I predict imagined trauma has increased significantly since the inception of social media.

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Thank you so much for this great essay. In the area of Mental Health, it is necessary to go back to the old ways, to clean up the terms and clarify the semiology and semantics that define it. I think that the proliferation of social networks, combined with the proliferation of unqualified professionals, has contributed greatly to this.

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Another great essay! Would you consider emotional abuse or emotional neglect to be trauma, or would they come under general adversity for not having a component of witnessed or feared death?

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Jul 3·edited Jul 3Author

Emotional abuse and neglect certainly could be traumatic. Events that include witnessing/fearing death are NOT the only traumatic incidents that have severe psychological consequences. What initially comes to mind is childhood neglect and emotional abuse. Not only are the physical needs around food/nutrition, housing & safety critical for child development but so are love and nurturing. I could write an entire article on this. The consequences of an alcohol parent who berates their children, parents who act as if their children are a burden, children left alone and who are not attended to with love- all very damaging.

With that said, language is important and I have witnessed adults report being "emotionally abused & neglected" by a friend or a romantic partner- based on their needs not being met in that relationship, feeling criticized, or even cheated on. Although that type of betrayal is certainly painful- I would not put that in the same category as childhood neglect and abuse. Adults have the autonomy to leave relationships if they do not meet their needs and these types of experiences are not only normal- but necessary opportunities for transformation.

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Thank you so much for providing an insightful and nuanced reply, it was really helpful. Would definitely be interested in reading an entire article on this if you’re ever inclined to write one!

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You are welcome... I realized I made a typo in the first reply so I corrected it. I meant to say:

"Events that include witnessing/fearing death are NOT the only traumatic incidents that have severe psychological consequences.'

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Completely agree with all of this and also agree that tic tok trauma culture is absurd. I think the definition of trauma should be …. Does it change your brain? Does it show up on a brain scan? And the issue is how can we develop a valid diagnostic tool for assessing trauma that does not involve expensive tests. I think the ACE list is pretty good but should be updated. (There are obviously other kinds of trauma too). Trauma is a lot like fetal alcohol syndrome - it can be but is not always the one big black out bender that causes the damage. It’s the steady drip drip drip of a glass of wine everyday during the critical development periods that cause lifelong disability. A murdered parent is not necessarily more traumatic than living in a tense hostile or violent household during a period of critical development, an amputated leg not necessarily more traumatic that growing up with a mentally ill or incarcerated parent. The issue is …. Does it impede your brain development? Or in adults … what does your brain scan look like? If we are going to scale up holistic treatments for mental health and change the mental health industrial complex we must have a nuanced understanding of trauma. There is a middle ground here that must be understood.

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Thank you for this.

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I grew up in a culture where the prevailing attitude was 'get over it' or 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' there was no place at all to share emotional experiences. Going to a therapist was taboo. So, that is the other extreme. Words become memes in culture, we see it with words such as 'triggered', 'narcissist,' and 'traumatizing.' The memes take on a life of their own, and the real significance is diluted or lost. Pete Walker wrote a book on cPTSD which I think is enlightening, it is not the same as PTSD. Also, I think privacy is protective and important, and so it matters to whom we share our vulnerabilities with, as no doubt there will be those who will leverage them against us. Those who carry big scars I believe tend to not broadcast it. Life is traumatic, but if our coping mechanism is healthy, we can move through traumatic events as adults. When children have been repeatedly abused, long term, their emotional coping mechanism is like a weak immune response, and they are susceptible to all manner of trouble as adults. So, they need help, a soul doctor to help them to build up a repertoire of healthy emotional immune responses. Most aspects of life are nuanced, and it is shallow to jump into black and white labeling. It is only fair to reserve the label for legitimate cases of cPTSD or PTSD, allow those who really need it in order to articulate their pain, to have it.

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Thank you for this. As someone who experienced two ectopic pregnancies (both resulting in emergency surgeries) and a stillbirth along with the death of my dad from a terminal illness I still thought I hadn't really experienced any trauma. It took my mum and my husband to convince me that some counseling and medication would help me get over the 'hump' and both those things helped. But what really made a difference was recognizing what had happened, grieving, and then moving forward and not making it the most pronounced part of my identity. I owed to my dad. My mum lost her life partner whom she nursed until his death but refused to shut down over her experience. I now have an amazing daughter and my mum has found the happiness my dad wanted for her in my stepdad and a life full of travel, volunteering, gardening and just puttering. I am grateful to my parents for not letting many things that would these days have the potential to sideline me based on the current theories you discuss in this article, and build bits and pieces of resilience over the years. I see what you write about it played out consistently in many of my social circles and I just don't understand it.

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I'd love for you to write about ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences). I'm not a mental health professional, but have worked with many and personally know many so I've done a little research on this guideline/assessment and it seems to me that it might be contributing to what you describe in this essay.

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Trauma is being made to the structure of your being. Physical, social, moral, reproductive degeneration of literally everyone living in modern society, meaning at this time. We need to see it, in its true form, that is specific for one.

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