17 Comments

Thank you for this! I have so much to say about this (and I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist so I neither prescribe medication nor diagnose), but I see so many of my (mostly psychotherapy) clients who are supporting themselves between sessions with podcasts and social media, and sometimes the impression they get (in addition to diagnosing themselves and everyone else in the world), is that there are instant fixes, that solutions are simple, and worse, if they follow the suggestion of an influencer and don’t see a shift immediately then they are the ones who are broken, and then of course they come to the session almost with the expectation that I might waive a magic wand in the same kind of soundbite time-limited manner they see on social media. I have seen a huge change in the past ten years in terms of clients expectations.

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I have also seen a tremendous shift the last decade… accelerating the past 5 years

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Thank you, thank you, thank you! From a fresh faced therapist.

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Oct 31Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

Such a powerful article! Thank you.

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Oct 31Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

Thank you! Another great one!

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Oct 31Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

I found myself nodding along with this as it highlights so much of what we see around us while working in this sector. The powerful totalising narratives, medicalised, reductionist and giant corporate interests driving so much harm in the name of good.

This all filters down to us the human beings or in this world ‘consumers’ and we absorb and repeat and are given scraps from the table when these narratives and framings are used as currency in the form of reasonable adjustments in the disordered school, the disordered work place, driven by a range of cultural disorders you outlined so well.

However the final paragraph rings hollow to me or at best wishful thinking. The Russian dolls analogy you use is useful here - how does the smallest doll break out of its nested, cultural disorders and just decide to ‘love deeply’ and ‘embrace our values’.

This is the sort of heroic individualism that is also part of the problem that industry trades on and often drives people into the mental ill health industry due to its false advertising and fake claims of robust evidence basses and its routine ignoring of the harms some of which you outlined above.

Given we do not ‘choose’ to marinade from birth to death in the myriad cultural disorders you outlined and many more, how do we stand in the face of this and just ‘choose to become’ something else. This sounds like the basis for the super hero movies also ubiquitous in the culture, the story of the underdog striking out in the face of overwhelming odds, the self creating, self maximising self self self.

Therapy at least here in the UK is ran via Talking Therapies formerly IAPT and its all short term, medical model driven, tock box, brief ‘symptoms’ reduction, based on vacuous conceptions of ‘recovery’ that is essentially a score on the drug company produced PHQ9 and GAD7. The entire system is a one of internalising, pathologising and fosters illusions of heroic individualism.

We have no time to listen to the narrative weaves of bias and distortions and explore or unpack them and even if we did we are doing this with the client alone and so have no way to test what is being said against any broader reality of the client and their relations or context. Research shows millions of people don’t have a few hundred saved for emergency’s , millions have no one they can call a friend, inequality is out of control, we’re drowning in labels and drugs, prescribed and otherwise - to live in accord with values requires resources that many if not most do not have, to love requires the experiences of love and many are living through a love disguised as terrible pain, violence, indifference, neglect, all driven by a range of cultural disorders. In other words to pull yourself up by the boot straps requires boots, straps and favourable life growing cultural conditions.

Many in the therapy industry are burning out along with everyone else - see this work on the UK IAPT, now talking therapies.

https://thefutureoftherapy.org/

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Oct 31Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

Thanks Doc.

It is so refreshing to encounter someone who is just as annoyed by their colleagues and profession as I am haha.

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Oct 31Liked by Dr. Roger McFillin

Thank you Dr McFillin.

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My daughter has real trauma but somehow fell into the world of Teal Swan. She seems to have developed some of the influencer’s backstory including PNES and a self-diagnosis of DID. She hasn’t worked for almost three years and when I broach the subject accuses me of horrible things that never happened. Far from perfect mom but… Everything was going well and she was on her way in the world then she just collapsed. Suicidal, was in a IOP and weekly therapy for months and then refused to see a therapist. Does the “completion process” on her own and watches videos about narcissistic mothers and gaslighting all day. How did we get here?

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Omg Teal Swan! I did some research on her when I noticed a friend develop an unhealthy hero worship with her, and I felt that she and her entire organisation are quite culty. It’s sad but I can understand getting fixated on an influencer when in reality so many therapists don’t really have the skills for empathic attunement, and many clients feel like problems that need to be fixed. But gosh sounds challenging and I’m sorry 😢

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This is a massive problem I see everywhere.

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I have been waiting for years for someone to identify this. This is especially prevalent in child psychotherapy and is one of the reasons why as a child advocate, I do not believe most children should be in therapy and there should NOT be therapists in schools. This has caused untold harm to my family and my child because of poorly trained therapists who overly identify with the child--haven't read the book Bad Therapy but I am sure I could find much to resonate with. [And there is a sh*t show of this in the "gender affirming" spaces including with many transitioned therapists failing to do due diligence and having neutrality around a child's subjective perceptions] I do think, however, that on the flip side, many couples' therapists are really bad at identifying emotional abuse and exploitation. It takes some digging and immense skill to discover where truth lies. It might be a generational thing too, with the pendulum switching from not enough to too much recognition of "toxic" traits and trauma.

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I agree with a lot of what you're saying, but it was a hard read because (though I never went to therapy!) when I was in an abusive relationship as a young person I desperately needed someone to hear my side of the story and support me when I said I needed out, instead of just parroting that I needed to be more "grateful" or "just talk to them about it!" As though I had never tried that! I just needed to be treated fairly. I'm not saying I was perfect, just that I was a child who was trying my best, and I deserved some grace. I wish someone (anyone!) would have backed me up on that.

That said, the commercialization of therapy-speak absolutely does harm people and cheapen discourse on real issues.

It would probably be even harder to convince someone now that a family member really was a narcissist even if they seemed nice enough when you met them for half an hour last year.

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I appreciate the thought-provoking take on therapy culture here, but I think it’s missing an important nuance, especially for those dealing with complex PTSD. In Pete Walker’s work, he emphasizes that for people with complex trauma, understanding and processing their past is essential—not just ‘moving on’ without unpacking what shaped them. He talks about how trauma can cause ‘amygdala hijacking,’ where the brain’s fear center overrides rational thinking, making it feel impossible to just ‘let go’ of past narratives. Walker’s approach is about using self-compassion and reframing these experiences to gradually reduce trauma’s grip. For many, therapy isn’t about indulging in stories but about learning to transform them and calm the amygdala’s response. There’s value in stepping forward, but sometimes real healing means looking back, reframing, and learning to respond differently before we can leap into life’s possibilities.

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Hi Megan,

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. The danger that always exists with my writing when I highlight harmful cultural phenomena is to go all or nothing. I continue to work with people who have experienced horrific trauma's in their life... and you are correct there is a time and place to revisit, emotionally process and learn to move forward when the past impacts the present. With that I would like to add... the presence of a traumatic incident in one's past does not mean they must return to that time. Most people who experience trauma naturally recover (around 8 out of 10). Understanding the 20% who fall into the category of post-traumatic stress or "complex" reactions that result from those experiences is when therapy may be helpful when it's ethically and compassionately delivered by an expert who has dedicated his/her life to helping such people and stays on top of scientific understandings. Even in these circumstances- the individual develops a narrative/story about their trauma, themselves, the world, their value etc... So my article still holds true from that perspective. However, my main point is around "therapy culture" and this relatively new phenomenon that I believe is creating more harm than good.

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You're such a good writer! I find your topics quite disheartening, though. :-) I really hope that what you describe is relatively uncommon. I fear, however, that it is not. My son decided that I physically, emotionally AND sexually abused him after talking to a therapist - ONE time. He didn't speak to me for months - and then decided that he was unfairly influenced. His then-wife hated me so she helped with the influence. His narrative is already, "I'm the Victim here" so he also doesn't need much influence.

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My only concern is that some of us genuinely do have real past trauma. But I would never go to a new, fresh faced graduate with my trauma. These days I trust God and my husband in that order.

Therapists used to understand the natural healing process. At least better than they do now. And no one ever suggested medication for me.

But I’m old, so…

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