What if Depression & Anxiety Were A Gift?

We currently inhabit a society where the mere experience of aversive emotional states is regarded as pathological. It signifies that something is inherently wrong with us, often to the extent that seeking professional medical attention becomes necessary.

The experience of “depression” and “anxiety” are the most frequently identified reasons why someone seeks out mental health treatment. These two words have become the go-to umbrella terms that confine our understanding of the rich tapestry of human reactions. Rarely are the experiences of grief, loneliness, sadness, fear, worry, loss of inspiration, confusion of purpose and feeling disconnected from others articulated as ones truth.

We find ourselves disconnected from the full spectrum of emotions that constitute the human experience. Instead of acknowledging emotional pain and struggles as a natural part of life, they are often perceived as something to be feared and labeled as serious problems. This shift in perception prevents us from embracing the transformative potential of these experiences, hindering our growth and adaptation.

Enter the realm of medicalized emotions! We've bestowed upon these natural human experiences some snazzy, medical-sounding names like Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Just the mere mention of these names evokes a sense of scientific credibility. Ah, the power of the word "disorder" - it carries quite the punch, doesn't it?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of "disorder" is as follows:

“A disturbance in physical or mental health; an abnormal condition affecting the body, mind, or behavior.

You see, when it comes to emotions, drugs can only be granted approval if we transform them into illnesses. Those everyday emotions of fear, anxiety, sadness, grief, irritability, anger, and loneliness, which are intrinsic to the human condition, won't suffice on their own. But introduce a label, a diagnosis, and suddenly they become worthy contenders for drug approval.

In their quest to escape these uncomfortable emotions, individuals often develop genuine problems that further exacerbate their struggles. Some may turn to drugs and alcohol as a means of temporary relief, unknowingly trapping themselves in destructive cycles. Others resort to unhealthy eating habits, either overindulging or depriving themselves of nourishment. Some people may actively avoid situations that trigger anxiety or stress, inadvertently withdrawing from the very experiences that give life its depth and meaning. Its essential to recognize that the response to these emotions is problematic, not the emotions themselves.

I fear our cultural communication of emotional pain has created an adversarial stance towards these feelings. We're taught to fear, avoid, and suppress them, considering them as symptoms of mental illness requiring immediate treatment. This approach emphasizes quick fixes like pills, mindfulness, and positive thinking to feel better. However, it's crucial to recognize that emotions are a natural part of being human and should be understood and embraced, not simply eradicated or deemed unacceptable.

When we attempt to suppress or avoid unwanted thoughts, sensations, or emotions, a paradoxical effect occurs – they become more frequent and intense. Throughout history, cultures have recognized that inhibiting the acceptance of internal experiences hinders growth and personal development. This insight aligns with psychological research on emotion regulation. However, the psychiatric industry often labels normal and expected emotions as symptoms of an illness and prescribes drugs as a solution. Moreover, several modern therapeutic approaches focus on decreasing "symptoms" rather than embracing emotions as part of the healing and growth process.

A subtle shift in our approach to intrusive thoughts, aversive emotions, uncomfortable sensations, or painful memories can have a transformative impact on our lives. What if we were to see them as gifts meant to serve us?

Feelings of sadness, loss, or loneliness only escalate into a depressive episode when we withdraw and judge these experiences, engaging in self-critical thinking that foresees a future filled with pain. However, if we understand these experiences in the context of them communicating that something in our lives is amiss, we can begin to make personal growth and adaptation a priority. We can ask ourselves important questions: What changes do I need to make to evolve and adapt to this new experience? What messages are these emotions conveying to me? Am I dissatisfied with my current relationships, career, or sense of purpose? Are the quality of my relationships influencing this experience? Am I falling short in some way? Do I need to make significant changes?

Essentially, your emotions are valid indicators that certain aspects of your life may not align with your desires. How you choose to respond to these experiences will determine whether they lead to functional impairment or personal transformation. By embracing the signals these emotions provide, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and positive change.

I believe that one of the most valuable gifts we can offer our children is to model and teach them that all emotions are meaningful and necessary. Emotions are natural, valid, and essential partners in our journey, serving our personal growth and development. By understanding and embracing these emotions, we can make necessary changes that contribute to our well-being without resorting to what the medical and mental health system may label as a "disorder."

Though I am a clinical psychologist, I acknowledge that the current mental health system, as it stands, can be counterproductive. Entering this system often becomes a significant predictor of life-long struggles with mental illness. The prevailing majority of mental health providers have grown up and been educated within a culture that emphasizes categorical mental illness designations (such as DSM diagnoses). This perspective leads to viewing deviations from a restricted notion of "normal" as disorders that need treatment. Unfortunately, they may be disconnected from alternative viewpoints that have existed for centuries, like stoic philosophy, biblical passages, religious texts, ancient wisdom, and various cultural messages that have supported human resilience in the face of tragedy, hardship, and trauma.

Let me conclude with a crucial message that serves as the foundation for all our knowledge, from the beginnings of mankind to modern psychological science.

Your Emotions Are Gifts To Serve You: All of them.

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