What I Have Learned from Trauma Survivors

The concept of "mental health" has become increasingly corrupted by industrial and ideological influences, leading to a concerning narrative that portrays individuals as fragile, broken, sick, and disordered. This messaging not only supports a burgeoning pharmaceutical and medical industrial complex but also undermines the inherent strength and resilience displayed throughout human history.

As more people are pushed to identify with "mental illness," it becomes crucial to offer an alternative perspective. This article aims to serve as an antidote to these prevailing concepts by exploring the profound lessons learned from trauma survivors—individuals who often demonstrate remarkable resilience and growth in the face of adversity.

Psychiatry falls into the trap of pathologizing normal and expected human reactions, particularly those that are part of the natural healing process. When faced with trauma or adversity, individuals often experience a range of intense emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that, while challenging, are often adaptive responses to extraordinary circumstances.

However, the current psychiatric paradigm frequently labels these reactions as illnesses or disorders, leading to a rush to drug this experience rather than understand and support. This approach has damaging effects: it invalidates the individual's lived experience, disrupts the natural healing process, and may create a sense of powerlessness or dependency on pharmaceutical interventions. By drugging these normal responses, we risk suppressing important signals from the psyche and body, prolonging suffering and hindering genuine recovery.

In this provocative clip from Radically Genuine Podcast Episode #97 (August 10, 2023), Dr. Jessica Taylor and I expose a disturbing trend in mental health care: turning normal, expected reactions to trauma and stress into symptoms to be medicated. We challenge the psychiatric industry's tendency to pathologize the healing process, questioning who truly benefits when natural responses to trauma are reframed as disorders requiring pharmaceutical intervention.

Post-Traumatic Growth

While we as a society must unequivocally condemn the horrors of violence and other traumatic experiences, and would never wish such circumstances upon anyone, we must also be cautious not to undermine individuals' inherent capabilities to overcome these challenges. The human spirit has repeatedly demonstrated remarkable resilience in the face of adversity. By automatically pathologizing responses to trauma, we risk diminishing the potential for growth and recovery.

Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is a well-established phenomenon in psychological literature, first formally described by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the 1990s. This concept posits that individuals can experience significant positive change and personal development as a result of their struggle with highly challenging life circumstances.

The literature on Post-traumatic Growth offers compelling insights into human potential, revealing that many individuals not only survive traumatic experiences but often emerge stronger, with newfound wisdom, deeper relationships, and a greater appreciation for life.

“Trauma often shatters belief systems and robs people of their sense of meaning. In so doing, it forces people to put the pieces back together… rebuilding beautifully those parts of their lives and life stories that they could never have torn down voluntarily.”

— Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis

This is not to glorify suffering, but to recognize the profound capacity for healing and transformation that exists within us. Our approach to trauma should balance compassionate support with a steadfast belief in the individual's ability to create a life truly worth living, even in the aftermath of profound distress.

The research on PTG has revealed that many trauma survivors report greater appreciation of life, more meaningful interpersonal relationships, heightened sense of personal strength, recognition of new possibilities, and spiritual development. These findings challenge the traditional deficit-focused model of trauma response and highlight the human capacity for resilience and transformation in the face of adversity.

If these insights from PTG research were more widely disseminated through public education and popular culture, it could potentially revolutionize societal attitudes towards trauma and suffering. Such knowledge might foster a more resilient, empathetic, and growth-oriented culture, where adversity is viewed not just as a source of distress, but as a potential catalyst for profound personal and collective evolution.

Here is what I have learned (details changed to protect privacy)

"I Can Handle This”

When someone survives a traumatic event, they are forced to confront their own vulnerability and the unpredictability of life. However, in the process of healing and rebuilding, many discover an inner strength they may not have realized they possessed. This realization can be transformative, leading to a profound shift in self-perception. Survivors often report feeling more capable and self-reliant, having tangible evidence of their ability to endure and overcome extreme difficulties.

“John”, a combat veteran, put it perfectly: "Every morning I wake up, I remind myself - I've already lived through my worst day. Everything else is cake in comparison." This isn't about minimizing current struggles. It's about harnessing the power of perspective.

This newfound or reinforced self-belief becomes a cornerstone of perseverance. Armed with the knowledge that they have already survived their worst day, they often approach future challenges with a different perspective. The thought process shifts from "I can't handle this" to "I've been through worse and survived."

“The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

“Memento Mori”

Memento mori - "remember you must die." It's not just a morbid Latin phrase, but a powerful tool for living fully. In my years as a psychologist, I've seen this concept transform lives. When people truly internalize their mortality, it often sparks a profound shift in priorities.

The trivial falls away. Relationships deepen. Long-postponed dreams suddenly become urgent. It's not about fear, but about clarity. Knowing our time is finite can be incredibly liberating, pushing us to live authentically and purposefully. A new appreciation for life is developed.

Let me tell you about “Maria”. She walked into my office a shell of a person, diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at just 32. Her eyes were hollow, her spirit crushed. "Doc," she said, "I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid I never really lived."

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”
― Nelson Mandela

That moment was a turning point. Instead of succumbing to despair, Maria decided to use her diagnosis as a wake-up call. She quit the job she hated, mended fences with her estranged brother, and booked a trip to Paris - something she'd always dreamed of but never "found the time" for.

As her treatment progressed, something remarkable happened. Despite the physical toll, Maria's eyes began to sparkle. She told me, "For the first time, I'm not just existing. I'm living."

She started volunteering at a local animal shelter, finding joy in the simple act of caring for animals in need. She took up painting, filling her apartment with vibrant canvases that reflected her newfound zest for life. She even fell in love, allowing herself to be vulnerable in a way she never had before.

The most profound change? Her relationships. Maria stopped holding back, telling people exactly how much they meant to her. She became the friend who always showed up, the daughter who called just to say "I love you."

Two years later, against all odds, Maria's cancer went into remission. But the lessons stuck. She didn't revert to her old ways of living. Instead, she continued to approach each day with the same intensity and gratitude she'd cultivated during her illness.

"Facing death taught me how to live," she told me in our final session. "I'm not waiting for someday anymore. Today is all we have."

Maria's story isn't unique. I've seen this transformation time and again in my practice. When people truly internalize their mortality, it often catalyzes a profound shift. They stop postponing joy. They take risks. They love more openly. They live more authentically.

It's a powerful reminder that sometimes, confronting our deepest fears can lead to our greatest freedom.

Post-Traumatic Spiritual Growth

Post-traumatic spiritual growth is a profound and transformative journey that many trauma survivors experience. This phenomenon goes beyond mere resilience or coping; it represents a fundamental shift in one's worldview, values, and spiritual understanding.

Individuals who undergo this transformation often report a deepened sense of purpose, a stronger connection to something greater than themselves, and a more profound appreciation for life's inherent sacredness. This spiritual awakening can manifest in various ways, from a renewed interest in formal religious practices to a more personal, individualized spirituality that transcends traditional boundaries.

Forgiveness, while often challenging, offers a path to liberation from the burden of resentment and anger. It doesn't necessarily mean condoning harmful actions, but rather choosing to release the emotional hold these experiences have on one's life. Through love and forgiveness, trauma survivors can transmute their pain into wisdom, their fear into courage, and their isolation into a profound sense of interconnectedness with all of life.

"Janet," a woman whose husband and daughter were tragically killed by a drunk driver, found herself thrust into a profound spiritual crisis. This devastating loss forced her to confront existential questions that many spend a lifetime avoiding. She struggled with the age-old dilemma of why bad things happen to good people, questioning the fairness of a universe that could allow such senseless tragedy. This led her to reexamine her relationship with a higher power, oscillating between anger, doubt, and a desperate search for comfort in faith.

The concept of forgiveness became a central struggle in Janet's journey. She wrestled with whether she could—or should—forgive the driver who had shattered her world. This internal conflict highlighted the complex nature of forgiveness, not as a simple act of absolution, but as a process of releasing the grip of hatred for her own healing.

Janet struggled with the monumental challenge of finding meaning in her profound loss. Her quest for understanding led her on a journey through diverse philosophical, spiritual, and religious traditions. She explore ancient wisdom and contemporary thought, from stoic philosophy to Buddhist teachings on suffering, from Christian concepts of redemption to humanist perspectives on resilience.

Through this journey, Janet exemplified the process of post-traumatic spiritual growth. She began to view her tragedy not just as an ending, but as a painful genesis of a new chapter in her life. This perspective shift allowed her to honor the memory of her loved ones by living with renewed purpose and depth. Her story illustrates how confronting life's most challenging questions can lead to profound personal transformation, even amidst unimaginable pain. Spiritual growth can present itself in many different forms:

1. Shift in life philosophy: Many survivors report a fundamental change in how they view life and its meaning. This often includes a greater appreciation for the present moment and a shift away from materialistic values towards more spiritual or altruistic ones.

2. Enhanced intuition and spiritual sensitivity: Some individuals describe heightened intuitive abilities or a stronger sense of spiritual connection following trauma. This might manifest as increased empathy, precognitive experiences, or a feeling of being more "in tune" with the universe.

3. Sense of divine protection or guidance: Many survivors develop a belief that they were protected or guided through their traumatic experience by a higher power, leading to a deeper spiritual faith.

4. Existential questioning and spiritual seeking: Trauma often prompts deep existential questions about the nature of suffering, evil, and the meaning of life. This can lead to a period of intense spiritual exploration and study.

5. Symbolic or mystical experiences: Some individuals report vivid dreams, visions, or synchronicities that they interpret as spiritually significant, often providing comfort or guidance.

6. Community and service: Many survivors find spiritual growth through connecting with others who have similar experiences or by dedicating themselves to service and advocacy.

7. Rituals and practices: The development of personal spiritual rituals or the adoption of established practices like meditation, prayer, or energy work can be crucial in the growth process.

8. Integration of Darkness and Light: Spiritual growth often involves confronting and integrating the darker aspects of one's psyche, leading to a more whole and authentic sense of self.

9. Transcendence of ego: Some survivors report a dissolution of ego boundaries and a greater sense of connection to all beings, leading to increased compassion and reduced fear of death.

10. Meaning-making: The ability to find meaning or purpose in the traumatic experience itself is a key aspect of spiritual growth, often involving reframing the event as a catalyst for positive change.

Wisdom From Suffering

I've had the profound privilege of witnessing individuals navigate the tumultuous journey of recovery from unspeakable traumas. Time and again, I've observed that these survivors often emerge as some of the wisest people I've ever encountered. Their wisdom, hard-earned through suffering, manifests in myriad ways that continue to inspire and humble me.

These individuals frequently develop an extraordinary depth of empathy and compassion, not just for fellow trauma survivors, but for all of humanity. They've walked through the darkest valleys of human experience and emerged with an expanded capacity to understand and connect with others' pain.

This newfound compassion often leads to a sense of purpose, with many survivors dedicating themselves to helping others or advocating for social change. I've witnessed how this process of meaning-making can be profoundly healing, allowing individuals to transform their pain into a force for good.

“No one escapes pain, fear, and suffering. Yet from pain can come wisdom, from fear can come courage, from suffering can come strength – if we have the virtue of resilience.”
― Eric Greitens, Resilience

Moreover, trauma survivors often develop remarkable emotional intelligence and resilience. They've learned to navigate intense emotions, to sit with discomfort, and to find strength in vulnerability. This emotional mastery frequently translates into an ability to remain calm in crises, to offer profound insights in complex interpersonal situations, and to appreciate life's joys with heightened intensity. Many survivors speak of a newfound ability to live in the present moment, savoring simple pleasures and finding beauty in unexpected places.

The recovery process often instills a deep sense of self-awareness and personal growth. Survivors learn to challenge limiting beliefs, to set boundaries, and to prioritize their well-being in ways they might not have before. This journey of self-discovery often leads to a more authentic way of living, with many individuals reporting a stronger sense of self and a clearer understanding of their values and priorities.

Perhaps most poignantly, I've observed how many trauma survivors develop a profound appreciation for the preciousness and fragility of life. This perspective shift often results in a reprioritization of what truly matters, fostering deeper, more meaningful relationships and a commitment to living life fully and authentically.

In essence, while I would never wish trauma upon anyone, I've been consistently awed by the wisdom, resilience, and profound humanity that can emerge from the crucible of suffering. These individuals stand as living testaments to the indomitable nature of the human spirit and its capacity for growth, even in the face of unimaginable adversity.

We Are Strong

We stand at a critical juncture, facing a deliberate and insidious campaign designed to convince us of our own fragility. This is more than a mere ideological skirmish; it's a full-scale war on human resilience. We must resist the rising tide of victimization culture, the mental health cult, and all ideologies that seek to undermine our inherent capacities to overcome challenges.

These challenges, I firmly believe, are not mere obstacles but integral parts of our life journey, shaping us and propelling our growth. Make no mistake: there are forces at play that aim to profit from our vulnerabilities, and political entities that view our perceived weakness as an opportunity for control and manipulation.

But we need not succumb.We can and must stand united against these forces, reclaiming our narrative of strength and resilience.

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
― Japanese Proverb

As mental health professionals, our role is not to pathologize and medicate, but to support the recovery process through unwavering belief in the human capacity for growth. We are not here to label and limit, but to empower and elevate. By rejecting the notion of inherent fragility and embracing our remarkable ability to overcome, we not only resist those who would exploit our struggles but also unlock the vast potential within each of us.

This is our call to action: to recognize our strength, to support one another's journey, and to stand firm in the face of those who would have us believe we are anything less than capable, resilient, and inherently whole.

RESIST