The Evidence Is Clear: Smart People Write Dumb Things

The dumbing down of mental health on full display

Just when you thought academic discourse couldn't get any more reductionist, along comes another academic paper telling us – with all the authority that comes with publishing in a peer-reviewed journal – that exercise is "not better" than antidepressants or therapy. If you want to waste a few minutes of your precious time you can read the article here: The Evidence Is Clear, Exercise Is Not Better Than Antidepressants or Therapy: It Is Crucial to Communicate Science Honestly

How wonderfully convenient that these innovators have solved the complex riddle of human suffering with such a delightfully simple conclusion! The evidence is clear they proclaim!

One can only imagine the scene: distinguished academics huddled around a conference table, congratulating themselves on finally settling the age-old question of whether running or pill-popping is the superior solution to the perfectly homogeneous condition we call depression.

Let's start with the authors' masterful sleight of hand in their selection of evidence. They've carefully chosen to focus on "non-severe depression," which is rather like studying whether umbrellas or raincoats are "better" while specifically excluding hurricanes. How thoughtful of them to clarify that their groundbreaking insights apply primarily to mild and moderate cases – you know, the kind where someone might be grieving a loss, questioning their career choices, or going through a breakup. Because clearly, these fundamental human experiences need to be medicalized and reduced to a simple comparison of treatment modalities.

Tyler Durden said it best in “Fight Club”: "We work jobs we hate, to buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like." So tell me, dear researchers, when someone is depressed because they're trapped in this hamster wheel of modern existence, what exactly are we treating? Will your SSRI make that soul-crushing corporate job more meaningful? Will running on a treadmill (in an overpriced gym, which we pay for with the job we hate) somehow fix the existential void of living in a world where we've replaced purpose with purchasing power? The sheer absurdity of "treating" the completely rational depression that comes from living an inauthentic life would be hilarious if it weren't so tragic. But please, tell us more about how the evidence is clear – as long as we don't ask what exactly we're treating.

The sheer audacity of these scholars is almost admirable. They've managed to take the vast complexity of human emotional experience and boil it down to a competition between running on a treadmill and popping pills. It's particularly impressive how they've completely sidestepped the pesky question of "why" someone might be depressed. Why bother with such trivial matters as context, individual circumstances, or root causes when we can just debate treatment efficacy in a vacuum?

The evidence is clear they proclaim.