The Comfort Crisis

How modern conveniences are creating an emotionally fragile, sick & depressed society.

“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

-G. Michael Hopf

Humanity's relentless pursuit of progress is often spurred by our innate desire for safety & comfort. The discomfort and weakness associated with hunger, for instance, serves as a primal motivator for survival, propelling us to seek sustenance. Likewise, when confronted with the harsh elements, our instinct directs us towards shelter. Throughout the annals of human history, our quest for safety and comfort has been the impetus behind countless innovations aimed at maximizing pleasure and well-being.

I recently found myself engrossed in the gripping saga "Yellowstone" and its captivating spinoffs, "1883" and "1923". Set against the backdrop of a modern ranching empire in Montana, these shows offer a mesmerizing glimpse into the trials and triumphs of a resilient family.

As the spinoffs dramatize the family's migration and settlement in Montana, one cannot help but be awestruck by their unwavering fortitude in the face of adversity, a testament to the human spirit's indomitable nature. The narrative of human progress is woven with threads of famine, war, disease, and migration, each chapter a testament to our relentless pursuit of survival and the promise of a better life.

It's impossible to ignore the parallels between our contemporary society and the tumultuous eras of 1883, 1923, and even 1944. We stand just a stone's throw away from the generation that weathered the Great Depression and whose young men bravely stormed the beaches of Normandy to confront the Nazis in Europe and combat the Japanese in the Pacific islands.

My own grandfather, a proud veteran of World War II, fought valiantly in the Pacific theater, while my wife's grandfather endured the harrowing Battle of the Bulge, battling starvation amidst subfreezing temperatures. Their sacrifices serve as poignant reminders of the resilience and courage ingrained within the human spirit, prompting us to question whether our current challenges truly measure up to the trials faced by those who came before us.

Let me clarify: I'm not here to romanticize the past. Our journey of progress is undeniably built upon the injustices and tragedies that mark our history. Instead, consider this a contemplation of the remarkable resilience of the human spirit and our innate capacity to persevere through adversity while relentlessly striving for a brighter future.

Not Every Aversive Experience is Traumatic

Let's fast forward to 2024, where our perception of trauma has undergone a profound shift. Today, it's not uncommon to hear of parents seeking therapy for their middle schooler to cope with the emotional upheaval of their best friend moving. There's a prevailing fear among parents that taking away a 14-year-old's cell phone could inflict lasting trauma. Teenagers, struggling with anxiety, are confined to screens all day for cyber school, as traditional classrooms are presented as too stressful.

Shockingly, requests to face challenges are met with outbursts and threats of self harm. Outdoor play has been supplanted by endless hours of video games. This isn't just a commentary on our present; it's a stark reminder of how drastically our understanding of resilience and coping has deteriorated in the modern age.

In today's culture, everyday setbacks like not making a sports team or receiving a poor grade are labeled as a potential mental health crises. This attitude suggests that any form of distress is harmful to our fragile psyche, overlooking our innate resilience and distorting our understanding of adversity as a natural part of growth.

It's downright shocking how haphazardly society pathologizes ordinary reactions to adverse events, rushing to drug away the discomfort. It's a stark reminder of how disastrously off-track we've become in our handling of life's inevitable hurdles.

Struggle is the Breeding Ground for Resilience

Life has undeniably become incredibly convenient. Gone are the days of hunting for food and preparing for harsh winters with the looming threat of shortages. Nowadays, we can simply reach for our phones, tap on an app, and have everything we need delivered right to our doorstep. We've even reached a point where grocery shopping can be entirely optional, thanks to the convenience of online ordering and home delivery.

Feeling bored? This seemingly innocuous state of mind, once the catalyst for creativity, exploration, and outdoor adventures, now feels utterly intolerable. In a world where instant entertainment is just a click away, the art of finding joy in the simple pleasures of reading, exploring nature, and inventing games seems to have been overshadowed by the allure of immediate gratification.

What's the outcome of this cultural shift?

We find ourselves in a society marked by emotional fragility, illness, and widespread depression. How did we get here? By distorting the very essence of the human condition. We've become increasingly disconnected from the timeless lessons of our ancestors, ancient wisdom, and even basic common sense.

In our relentless pursuit of comfort and convenience, we've inadvertently weakened an entire generation. We've neglected to emphasize the profound mental benefits that come from confronting adversity head-on, pushing past the limits of our minds, and learning to tolerate discomfort.

When anxiety alone warrants pulling a teenager out of school, denying them the chance to confront discomfort and develop vital coping skills, we've not just lost touch with reality—we've abandoned our duty to prepare the next generation for the challenges of life.

In a culture where every emotional challenge is swiftly categorized as a mental health issue, fear-driven narratives dominate discussions around mental illness, psychiatric drugs, and therapy. But are we teaching and practicing lessons of resilience and coping? Sadly, it seems unlikely. Instead, there's a tendency to validate experiences by framing them as disabilities and narratives of victimhood, while assigning them fake disorders and treating them as medical conditions.

They then return home to the same environment, facing the same reactions, and all too often failing to confront the legitimate problems at hand. The drugs are never the “tools” the fanatics promise and rarely do they create emotional stability.

It can be hard for people when I inform them…”You don’t have ADHD”. It’s conditioning by screens to only hold your attention to one thing for a very short period of time before moving onto the next and it’s completely ruined your ability to tolerate discomfort and stay focused. 10 hours on your phone all day, disconnected from nature, being sedentary and avoiding the sun has consequences. None of this is solved with Adderall or Prozac- trust me. They are just going to make the situation worse.

Please heed my warning:

You're not suffering from some mysterious chemical imbalance. Your mood is a direct reflection of the life you're leading. We're built to push our limits, to thrive on challenges. Life isn't a stroll in the park; it's an adventure, brimming with obstacles meant to be conquered.

With each hurdle we overcome, we learn, we grow, we gain confidence, and we create new experiences. We're wired to tackle the tough stuff: to innovate, to lend a hand, to forge connections.

But here's the kicker: If you're constantly avoiding rejection, failure, loss, or pain— anything that might stir up discomfort—you're not really living. You're just existing, and that's a surefire way to spiral into depression. There's no magic pill for feeling better. It's about diving headfirst into life's challenges, embracing the bumps and bruises along the way, and emerging stronger on the other side.

If we frame aversive emotional experiences as something to fear we are going to condition a generation to avoid these experiences. Distract into the phone. Mindlessly scroll. Sedentary lifestyle of comfort inside your warm bed binging a Netflix series. The paradox is that it weakens us and distorts our perception of reality.

The profound impact of experiences such as war, enduring food scarcity, immigrating to a foreign land, or mourning the loss of a child profoundly alters one's perspective on what truly constitutes stress and trauma. In light of such trials, the anxieties of attending school or pushing oneself to exercise, alter dietary habits, or confront fears seem trivial by comparison.

Mental Benefits of Doing Hard Things

"You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours."

(Psalm 128:2 NIV)

Have you ever invested the time to craft a nutritious and wholesome meal entirely from scratch? From meticulously researching the recipe, venturing to the market to select the freshest ingredients, to the actual preparation and cooking process—it's a journey in itself. Now, contrast that with simply ordering from Uber Eats. While the convenience of delivery cannot be denied, there's a distinct pleasure and satisfaction derived from the effort and care poured into creating a homemade meal. The flavors seem to resonate more deeply, and the experience becomes not just about nourishing the body, but also about feeding the soul.

In our modern world, convenience and immediate gratification have become prized commodities. Yet, amidst the ease of ordering meals with a click or summoning entertainment at the swipe of a screen, there's an often-overlooked loss—the erosion of pleasure found in patience and effort. T

The simple joy of nurturing a meal from scratch, the anticipation of flavors mingling as they simmer, or the satisfaction of a project completed through diligent work—all are casualties of our insatiable appetite for instant satisfaction. In this relentless pursuit of convenience, we risk sacrificing the deeper, more fulfilling pleasures that come with investing time, care, and effort into our endeavors.

Our perceptions define our reality. Our horizons are confined to the boundaries of our experiences. Choosing the path of least resistance traps us in an unchanging landscape, ultimately crushing our souls—a direct defiance of our innate drive for growth and transformation.

P.S. For those who are familiar with my work, it's important to acknowledge that professional assistance may indeed be necessary at times. We still live in a society marred by violence and serious emotional problems, regardless of their cause, may require a specialist. There is no shame in seeking help. However, we must critically assess the nature of this help and be more critical of the institutions that seek to monopolize what is “mental health treatment.”

Does it genuinely enhance coping mechanisms and foster resilience? Or does it inadvertently perpetuate narratives that undermine individuals' coping abilities, subscribing to a model of mental illness, victimhood, and disability?

Are we actually targeting the problems that exist? We need to examine the broader cultural context driving these narratives of sickness and promoting increasingly harmful treatments. Especially since many of the problems that are prevalent in our society are not addressed through these “treatments.”

For example, when we encounter a situation where a young girl is addicted to her phone (an increasing problem), spending 10-12 hours a day on it (yes this is what we are observing), refusing to attend school, and experiencing anxiety attacks at the mere thought of completing homework or interacting socially in person, we must pause and reflect. Do we genuinely believe that prescription drugs and talk therapy address these problems? Especially when both could make the problem worse.

We require radical change.

No more bystanders.

We must restore sanity back in our culture.