AFter 33 years of taking these drugs, I decided I had enough of the substandard living. I had been convinced that the drugs were to be used forever, that if I did not, my life would be disrupted forever, catastrophic outcomes would be sure to follow. False. Patently false. Countless hours in therapy produced no change, as I was not home, I was in lala land. I did not really give a shit about living, I became addicted to work as a distraction, which hollowed out my core. I used about 22 different drugs over the years, all prescribed, never abused, whatever that means. The withdrawal process was a true hell: depersonalization, not knowing who I was, and derealization, not realizing where I was, my context. I got lucky, I took 9 months to taper, but, that was a year ago, and I have not found my old self back (never will, too much has passed me by), but I am still not sure of who I am to become. It’s kind of like being in quicksand, but not completely sinking. When on the drugs, I was under most of the time, with a straw for enough air to stay alive, but could not move emotionally. Here is my question: why was I susceptible to what was obviously now, misinformation from people in white coats and therapists in chairs? Did I replace the priest with these guys? Did I jump from one cult into another? That is what it seems like. The drugs are way more life altering than the Bible ever was…and far more difficult to shake off. The drugs impact self perception, induce learned helplessness, disinhibit at times. The SI is terrible. I used alcohol at times to blunt the impact of the drugs. I was taking: a mood stablizer, a stimulant, and a tranquilizer, sometimes multiples of each. Is it any wonder it has taken me this long to get off the drugs? I can tell you, I would love to sue, but the pharma companies, the therapists, the government agencies responsible for approvals have control of the rules. That they have made my life a living hell is not a question. I see it now in hindsight. These drugs are spellbinding, meaning while on them, there is no self awareness about their effects. Therefore, there is no real consent possible while under the influence, that is a myth. It was only because my cognition became severely impaired that I finally made the plunge to taper off. And it was only because Social Media, ie Facebook and the tapering community offered up valid information on what the drugs were doing, and the fact that there was a way to get off the drugs and still survive is how I got off. My psych doc fired me for non-compliance, my PC doc washed her hands, above her pay grade. Therapists looked at me with glassy stares, and said good luck. Art saved me. Painting, walking, no work, rest. But, I still don’t sleep much. I still have bouts of SI, which is infuriating, as the human organism is designed to survive and thrive. I am lucky, my family is still intact. My spouse of 45 years survived this with me. My kids still love me, and I them. Not many people are this fortunate. And many don’t make it. My brother did not. After 2 weeks of Remeron, he was gone. 4 kids fatherless. The prescriber: oh well, it could not be helped. I guess she did not read the black box warning. And like school shootings, life goes on. But it does not. The losses accumulate. Multiply. Witness the alienation around us. Losing 10% to 25% of the population to drug use is costing us ourselves while drug companies and their investors get wealthy. This is more than a rant.
Thanks for the article, it spells out in plain English what is the science behind the drugs. However, the stories of how lives are impacted need writing, need airing out publicly. The abuse of these drugs, promoted by the medical and therapy professions has to stop. The approval process needs to be changed in favour of the client, not the manufacturer seeking rents. It is very challenging to fight multi-billion dollar enterprises with war chests of cash applied to “marketing” campaigns, political influence, and information suppression. It may seem impossible, as this enterprise is one of the largest on the planet. But, we the victims, are legion.
Depends what the *actual* intention(s) of the manufacturers and purpose(s)of the drug(s). If it’s to make people better as claimed, then no, they don’t work. But if the real goal is keep people psychologically enslaved in the false paradigm of mental illness = broken brans/imbalanced chemistry (something is wrong with the individual rather than with their conditions/something happened to them) and to make them emotionally numb and chemically castrated (disempowered and impotent) all while making billions in profits and dividends for investors, fat bonuses for executives, career advancement, prestige, and patent royalties for scientists, regulators, etc., generous campaign donations for politicians, and an endless stream of advertising revenues for media corporations then I’d say they work wonderfully!
I read your pieces with eagerness as my now deceased partner had paranoid schizophrenia. Its active onset began in his 30s when he became paranoid, isolated himself and became delusional, thinking his wife was a malevolent force sucking life out of him. One day he experienced a complete psychotic breakdown and killed her. It was while he was jailed that he was finally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He was then transferred to a psychiatric institution where he remained for 7 years. He had no criminal record because he was in a psychotic state when he committed the murder so had no rational awareness of what he was doing.
After he was released, he was able to live a relatively normal life although he could never hold a job again or drive a car. It's important to be aware that he was a genius. He was a mathematician with a graduate degree from a prestigious university. He spoke 4 languages fluently (his native Russian, English, Spanish & German); he taught himself German and Spanish while he was institutionalized and one of the psychiatrists said he'd never seen anything like it. When he was 14 years-old he was recruited to one of the most elite boarding schools in the country. He was simultaneously a very successful entrepreneur who made a great deal of money in oil trading and had an appliance import business based in Geneva, Switzerland. He was a truly extraordinary individual.
While the neuroleptics stopped his delusional thinking, he experienced many of the side effects you describe. He most prominently experienced emotional flattening and was never able to feel intensity of any emotion. His sleeping patterns fluctuated markedly with some days not sleeping until 7:00 am and other times sleeping normally. He could no longer read books or watch movies because the drugs impaired his ability to concentrate for prolonged periods of time. Nevertheless, he traveled internationally on a regular basis, had a very large following on social media and was sought out for his keen knowledge of geopolitics.
I believe the drugs contributed to his premature death. 3 days after we celebrated his 54th birthday, he died of a sudden, completely unexpected heart attack. He was also an extremely heavy cigarette smoker since the age of about 15 so that surely contributed to his death. Statistically, people with paranoid schizophrenia do not live long lives. I was utterly devastated by his death. He was a loving, kind, affectionate, completely honest man who possessed a beautiful mind.
In conclusion, based on my study and experience, antipsychotic drugs can be life-saving for someone with schizophrenia but most definitely not for anyone who doesn't suffer from truly serious mental illness.
Oh my, such a well written explanation! I want to share this with everyone who takes or is considering taking these types of drugs. I so wish I had this information 11 years ago. I am tapering now and can't wait to really feel again, the good and the bad.
I think another point of concern is the long-term effect that these medications have on users. The cognitive slowdown, in my professional experience, often appears to be profound and permanent when taken years on end.
I agree that most psych drugs seem almost as bad as the conditions they are prescribed to “treat”. That said, for those of us with chronic dopamine dysregulation who might otherwise be on the trash heap of life…it’s been a life saver.
So true and so clear. I am glad you are speaking the truth in this way about these medications and people can make more informed choices for themselves and for their loved ones
I was on Anti Depressant tablets for over 20 years, before I gradually took myself off them. Previously I was in brain overload what someone did to me dishonestly for money and the results of that, but that person, according to social media died in 2012.
The Anti Depressant tablets made me feel like my mind was floating in cotton wool, there was no pressure any more from anywhere and to begin with it was quite delightful. but I noticed that I had no feelings either and I did not emotionally care about anything or anyone, or for that matter myself either.
A person I was caring for was a Manic Depressive and she was on Anti Depressants too, because off the tablets, she was dangerous to herself and anyone who she potentially became involved with and she described her condition as wanting to fly from a house roof when she was free, while the Anti Depressants took away her desire to fly and they took away here creativity too.
What are the raw materials used for manufacturing psyche drugs, are they benzene derivatives from crude oil? Perhaps plant based drugs would be less harmful on the body, but those are all illegal.
AFter 33 years of taking these drugs, I decided I had enough of the substandard living. I had been convinced that the drugs were to be used forever, that if I did not, my life would be disrupted forever, catastrophic outcomes would be sure to follow. False. Patently false. Countless hours in therapy produced no change, as I was not home, I was in lala land. I did not really give a shit about living, I became addicted to work as a distraction, which hollowed out my core. I used about 22 different drugs over the years, all prescribed, never abused, whatever that means. The withdrawal process was a true hell: depersonalization, not knowing who I was, and derealization, not realizing where I was, my context. I got lucky, I took 9 months to taper, but, that was a year ago, and I have not found my old self back (never will, too much has passed me by), but I am still not sure of who I am to become. It’s kind of like being in quicksand, but not completely sinking. When on the drugs, I was under most of the time, with a straw for enough air to stay alive, but could not move emotionally. Here is my question: why was I susceptible to what was obviously now, misinformation from people in white coats and therapists in chairs? Did I replace the priest with these guys? Did I jump from one cult into another? That is what it seems like. The drugs are way more life altering than the Bible ever was…and far more difficult to shake off. The drugs impact self perception, induce learned helplessness, disinhibit at times. The SI is terrible. I used alcohol at times to blunt the impact of the drugs. I was taking: a mood stablizer, a stimulant, and a tranquilizer, sometimes multiples of each. Is it any wonder it has taken me this long to get off the drugs? I can tell you, I would love to sue, but the pharma companies, the therapists, the government agencies responsible for approvals have control of the rules. That they have made my life a living hell is not a question. I see it now in hindsight. These drugs are spellbinding, meaning while on them, there is no self awareness about their effects. Therefore, there is no real consent possible while under the influence, that is a myth. It was only because my cognition became severely impaired that I finally made the plunge to taper off. And it was only because Social Media, ie Facebook and the tapering community offered up valid information on what the drugs were doing, and the fact that there was a way to get off the drugs and still survive is how I got off. My psych doc fired me for non-compliance, my PC doc washed her hands, above her pay grade. Therapists looked at me with glassy stares, and said good luck. Art saved me. Painting, walking, no work, rest. But, I still don’t sleep much. I still have bouts of SI, which is infuriating, as the human organism is designed to survive and thrive. I am lucky, my family is still intact. My spouse of 45 years survived this with me. My kids still love me, and I them. Not many people are this fortunate. And many don’t make it. My brother did not. After 2 weeks of Remeron, he was gone. 4 kids fatherless. The prescriber: oh well, it could not be helped. I guess she did not read the black box warning. And like school shootings, life goes on. But it does not. The losses accumulate. Multiply. Witness the alienation around us. Losing 10% to 25% of the population to drug use is costing us ourselves while drug companies and their investors get wealthy. This is more than a rant.
Thanks for the article, it spells out in plain English what is the science behind the drugs. However, the stories of how lives are impacted need writing, need airing out publicly. The abuse of these drugs, promoted by the medical and therapy professions has to stop. The approval process needs to be changed in favour of the client, not the manufacturer seeking rents. It is very challenging to fight multi-billion dollar enterprises with war chests of cash applied to “marketing” campaigns, political influence, and information suppression. It may seem impossible, as this enterprise is one of the largest on the planet. But, we the victims, are legion.
No psych drugs works
Not one
Ever
Depends what the *actual* intention(s) of the manufacturers and purpose(s)of the drug(s). If it’s to make people better as claimed, then no, they don’t work. But if the real goal is keep people psychologically enslaved in the false paradigm of mental illness = broken brans/imbalanced chemistry (something is wrong with the individual rather than with their conditions/something happened to them) and to make them emotionally numb and chemically castrated (disempowered and impotent) all while making billions in profits and dividends for investors, fat bonuses for executives, career advancement, prestige, and patent royalties for scientists, regulators, etc., generous campaign donations for politicians, and an endless stream of advertising revenues for media corporations then I’d say they work wonderfully!
I read your pieces with eagerness as my now deceased partner had paranoid schizophrenia. Its active onset began in his 30s when he became paranoid, isolated himself and became delusional, thinking his wife was a malevolent force sucking life out of him. One day he experienced a complete psychotic breakdown and killed her. It was while he was jailed that he was finally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He was then transferred to a psychiatric institution where he remained for 7 years. He had no criminal record because he was in a psychotic state when he committed the murder so had no rational awareness of what he was doing.
After he was released, he was able to live a relatively normal life although he could never hold a job again or drive a car. It's important to be aware that he was a genius. He was a mathematician with a graduate degree from a prestigious university. He spoke 4 languages fluently (his native Russian, English, Spanish & German); he taught himself German and Spanish while he was institutionalized and one of the psychiatrists said he'd never seen anything like it. When he was 14 years-old he was recruited to one of the most elite boarding schools in the country. He was simultaneously a very successful entrepreneur who made a great deal of money in oil trading and had an appliance import business based in Geneva, Switzerland. He was a truly extraordinary individual.
While the neuroleptics stopped his delusional thinking, he experienced many of the side effects you describe. He most prominently experienced emotional flattening and was never able to feel intensity of any emotion. His sleeping patterns fluctuated markedly with some days not sleeping until 7:00 am and other times sleeping normally. He could no longer read books or watch movies because the drugs impaired his ability to concentrate for prolonged periods of time. Nevertheless, he traveled internationally on a regular basis, had a very large following on social media and was sought out for his keen knowledge of geopolitics.
I believe the drugs contributed to his premature death. 3 days after we celebrated his 54th birthday, he died of a sudden, completely unexpected heart attack. He was also an extremely heavy cigarette smoker since the age of about 15 so that surely contributed to his death. Statistically, people with paranoid schizophrenia do not live long lives. I was utterly devastated by his death. He was a loving, kind, affectionate, completely honest man who possessed a beautiful mind.
In conclusion, based on my study and experience, antipsychotic drugs can be life-saving for someone with schizophrenia but most definitely not for anyone who doesn't suffer from truly serious mental illness.
Oh my, such a well written explanation! I want to share this with everyone who takes or is considering taking these types of drugs. I so wish I had this information 11 years ago. I am tapering now and can't wait to really feel again, the good and the bad.
That was profoundly authentic. Thank 🙏
As always, great writing!
I think another point of concern is the long-term effect that these medications have on users. The cognitive slowdown, in my professional experience, often appears to be profound and permanent when taken years on end.
I agree that most psych drugs seem almost as bad as the conditions they are prescribed to “treat”. That said, for those of us with chronic dopamine dysregulation who might otherwise be on the trash heap of life…it’s been a life saver.
I wish my sister was still here so I could read this to her.
So true and so clear. I am glad you are speaking the truth in this way about these medications and people can make more informed choices for themselves and for their loved ones
Åh, så god er jeg heller ikke til engelsk…. Er det muligt at få en dansk udgave?
I was on Anti Depressant tablets for over 20 years, before I gradually took myself off them. Previously I was in brain overload what someone did to me dishonestly for money and the results of that, but that person, according to social media died in 2012.
The Anti Depressant tablets made me feel like my mind was floating in cotton wool, there was no pressure any more from anywhere and to begin with it was quite delightful. but I noticed that I had no feelings either and I did not emotionally care about anything or anyone, or for that matter myself either.
A person I was caring for was a Manic Depressive and she was on Anti Depressants too, because off the tablets, she was dangerous to herself and anyone who she potentially became involved with and she described her condition as wanting to fly from a house roof when she was free, while the Anti Depressants took away her desire to fly and they took away here creativity too.
What are the raw materials used for manufacturing psyche drugs, are they benzene derivatives from crude oil? Perhaps plant based drugs would be less harmful on the body, but those are all illegal.