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AFter 33 years of taking these drugs, I decided I had enough of the substandard living. I had been convinced that the drugs were to be used forever, that if I did not, my life would be disrupted forever, catastrophic outcomes would be sure to follow. False. Patently false. Countless hours in therapy produced no change, as I was not home, I was in lala land. I did not really give a shit about living, I became addicted to work as a distraction, which hollowed out my core. I used about 22 different drugs over the years, all prescribed, never abused, whatever that means. The withdrawal process was a true hell: depersonalization, not knowing who I was, and derealization, not realizing where I was, my context. I got lucky, I took 9 months to taper, but, that was a year ago, and I have not found my old self back (never will, too much has passed me by), but I am still not sure of who I am to become. It’s kind of like being in quicksand, but not completely sinking. When on the drugs, I was under most of the time, with a straw for enough air to stay alive, but could not move emotionally. Here is my question: why was I susceptible to what was obviously now, misinformation from people in white coats and therapists in chairs? Did I replace the priest with these guys? Did I jump from one cult into another? That is what it seems like. The drugs are way more life altering than the Bible ever was…and far more difficult to shake off. The drugs impact self perception, induce learned helplessness, disinhibit at times. The SI is terrible. I used alcohol at times to blunt the impact of the drugs. I was taking: a mood stablizer, a stimulant, and a tranquilizer, sometimes multiples of each. Is it any wonder it has taken me this long to get off the drugs? I can tell you, I would love to sue, but the pharma companies, the therapists, the government agencies responsible for approvals have control of the rules. That they have made my life a living hell is not a question. I see it now in hindsight. These drugs are spellbinding, meaning while on them, there is no self awareness about their effects. Therefore, there is no real consent possible while under the influence, that is a myth. It was only because my cognition became severely impaired that I finally made the plunge to taper off. And it was only because Social Media, ie Facebook and the tapering community offered up valid information on what the drugs were doing, and the fact that there was a way to get off the drugs and still survive is how I got off. My psych doc fired me for non-compliance, my PC doc washed her hands, above her pay grade. Therapists looked at me with glassy stares, and said good luck. Art saved me. Painting, walking, no work, rest. But, I still don’t sleep much. I still have bouts of SI, which is infuriating, as the human organism is designed to survive and thrive. I am lucky, my family is still intact. My spouse of 45 years survived this with me. My kids still love me, and I them. Not many people are this fortunate. And many don’t make it. My brother did not. After 2 weeks of Remeron, he was gone. 4 kids fatherless. The prescriber: oh well, it could not be helped. I guess she did not read the black box warning. And like school shootings, life goes on. But it does not. The losses accumulate. Multiply. Witness the alienation around us. Losing 10% to 25% of the population to drug use is costing us ourselves while drug companies and their investors get wealthy. This is more than a rant.

Thanks for the article, it spells out in plain English what is the science behind the drugs. However, the stories of how lives are impacted need writing, need airing out publicly. The abuse of these drugs, promoted by the medical and therapy professions has to stop. The approval process needs to be changed in favour of the client, not the manufacturer seeking rents. It is very challenging to fight multi-billion dollar enterprises with war chests of cash applied to “marketing” campaigns, political influence, and information suppression. It may seem impossible, as this enterprise is one of the largest on the planet. But, we the victims, are legion.

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